Well This Is Interesting
by Thor Odinson
Summary: I have finished this because the documents are missing and I am unable to edit and I really don't know what to write but read if you want, though no more updates. Humorous One-Shots from the journey to The Lonely Mountain
1. Foliage

The thirteen dwarfs, Gandalf and hobbit road along the road on their ponies, the occasional piece of foliage being wept into their faces.

"24...25...26...27..."

"Ori, what are you doing?" asked Bifur.

"counting" Ori replied.

Bifur sighed, "yes i know, but counting what?"

"how many time a branch hits me in the face.."

Fili, who had been listening couldnt help but say "thats nothing! i'm up to 34!"

Bombur, who's riding beside Filli said "34? im up to 72! humf"

Kili, whos in front of Bombur turned at this and glanced at his brother, Fili glaced back and saw Kili with a stack of sticks on his lap, with a glint in his eye he said "Bombur, maybe your just on a wilder side, mayhap you ride behind me?" so Bombur drove his pony behind Fili. Kili, now with no entertainment, looked glum.

Fili on the the other hand, started snapping of twigs that passed by with a smile.

Gandalf knew what was going on but said nothing... after all, it would be quite entertaining if Bombur where to 'fall' of his pony due to... what would you say?... a foliage attack. with a puff on his pipe, Gandlaf lead on, this will be a interesting journey indeed.


	2. Fishing

**Disclaimer: (i forgot it last time)**

**M: Tolkin, can i have Kili?**

**T: No.**

**M:Okay...**

**I own nothing!**

**Please Review **

The company were looking for a place to stop, they've been traveling fourth since morning and it's high time for lunch, but mostly because Bilbo has insisted that they stop for lunch (and by insisted, we mean that he has been complaining about his hunger for several hours and accusing the dwarfs of trying to starve him).

Gandalf and Thorin have agreed on a spot, a little clearing in the trees big enough for 13 dwarfs, hobbit and wizard, and conventently a log that looks perfect for sitting on.

Balin, being among the wiser of the company (excluding Gandalf that is) suggested that they take precaution.

"After all, you don't know what's in the woods these days"

"Oh please! What could possibly go wrong?" asked Kili.

He was answered by a round of groans.

"What?!"

"Kili, everyone knows that as soon as you ask a question like that, it goes wrong! Even i know that!" Bilbo exclaimed.

"Right..." Kili stepped forward, although not really a step. As soon as his foot touched the ground... A ditch appeared as if by magic. *All look accusingly at Gandalf*

And so, the dwarfs spent the rest of the day, fishing for Kili.


	3. Evil duck

**Disclaimer:**

**M: How about half of Kili?**

**T: No.**

**I own nothing.**

Quack! Thump.

That was the sound of Kili being tripped up by a duck.

"Evil duck" Kili grumbled as he picked himself back up.

Fili, laughing at his brother chimed "You can't be blaming the duck surely?!"

With a slight blush Kili replied "Well it wasn't me!"

"Was."

"Wasn't."

"Was."

"Wasn't."

"Wa.s"

"Wasn't."

Quack. Thump.

"Kili, look where you're going" Gandalf said tiredly.

The group was walking along the river having a bit of a stroll while the ponies rested.

"Quack!" Fili shouted. Kili jumped.

"It's no laughing matter!" Kili shouted.

"Oh but it is!" said Dwalin.

"Humf!" and so, Kili crossed his arms and went to sulk behind a tree(where no duck could get him).

...

A duck waddled past heading for the trees.

To the rest of the company Fili said "wait for it..."

..

Quack! "AAAH!" Thump.

Kili came back to the company covered in leaves and not looking happy. As a treat to himself Kili went over by the river, ignoring his friends giggles and chuckles.

Kili bent over the river, and just as he was about to take a sip of water...

"Quack!"

And with a splash (and hand from his brother) Kili landed in the river.

"Evil duck." He spat.

**Review?**


	4. Lonely Mountain

**Disclaimer:**

**M: A quarter?**

**T:No.**

**M:okay...**

**i own nothing!**

On their third day of travel it occurred to Bilbo that he hasn't asked a lot of questions, and since they have over spent the game I, Spy he decided to ask Fili.

"So, where are we going?"

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Okay, what's our next destination?"

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Oh ok. This dragon, where is he?"

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Ah. That kingdom you talked about, where's that?"

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Oh! Why is it called The Lonely Mountain?"

"Because it's a lonely, mountain..." Fili sighs.

at this Bilbo thought _oh, maybe he doesn't like being asked questions... _ So Bilbo moved along to Kili.

"Kili, who made you want to go on this journey?"

"Gandalf."

"You know Gandalf?!"

"... Yes"

"Ah! How interesting! I know him too."

"Oh really."

"Yes."

"So... The Lonely Mountain aye? The Lonely Mountain, i would have called it "A Mountain Far Away From Other Mountains" ... much more creative."

"..."

_fine, I'll go talk to Balin _Bilbo thought.

"Balin!"

"Hello!"

"What do you think about calling the mountain A.M.F.A.F.O.M? amfafom... am-fa-fom... amf-a-fom...am-faf-om...?"

"..."

_Okay, Oin next. Thought Bilbo._

"Hello Oin! do you like The Lonely Mount-"

"-I Spy anyone!?"


	5. Eyebrows

**Disclaimer:**

**M: Fifth!**

**T: No!**

**I own nothing!**

Now, on the fourth day it is safe to say that Kili and Fili were bored. Riding on a pony most of the time does give a strain down below and doesn't give use of easy entertainment.

Kili felt like he was being watched, so he turned around to see his brother looking at him.

"...What?"

"Oh, i was just thinking... You have eyebrows."

"well-done!" said Kili

"Alright no need to turn all Mr. Sarcastic on me!"

"Excuse me..." said Ori "But why where you thinking about his eyebrows?"

"I just thought... they are rather strange... and quite useless"

The dwarves started looking at each others eyebrows.

"Dwalin! Your eyebrows are huge!" chuckled Balin.

Gloin laughed "They aren't huge, they just look big compared to his bald head!"

"I'm not bald!"

"bald! baaaaaald!" cried Fili and Kili.

"Oh mighty!" laughed Balin "Can you imagine Dwalin with no eyebrows?!"

"What about Gandalf?! His forehead is mostly eyebrows! Can you imagine him with none?!" Fili said.

All the dwarves (hobbit included) laughed.

*pop*

Everyone stopped and looked at each other.

"Gandalf! Give our eyebrows back!"

**Not sure about this one, Review please :)**


	6. Tickles

**Disclaimer:**

**M: *Throws hands in air* Can i have... Bombur?!**

**T: Nein**

**M: I didnt know you were German..**

**T: I'm not.**

**...**

**I own nothing!**

The company settled down for the night, Nori and Dori were starting on dinner and everyone was relaxed, Fili and Bifur were playing I Spy, Dwalin and Gloin were playing patty cake and Oin and Thorin were having a staring contest. A gust of wind blew.

"Hahaha!"

Everyone looked at Kili.

"Ahem... sorry, Gandalfs beard tickled me..."

silence.

"Right... would you like me to move?" asked Gandalf looking amused yet offended that his beautiful beard decided to tickle Kili _ha,that sounds odd!_ _tickle_ K_ili tickle Kili tickle Kili tickle Kili.._

"No it fine!" said Kili with a smile.

and so, the group carried on.

...

"PHAhah- sorry... again."

"Humf, mayhap i move?"

"No!"

_My wonderful beard isn't that funny, whether it be of humor or tickles!_

_..._

Nori heard giggling and looked up from the pot over the fire and saw Kili trying not to laugh.

"Hehehehe-Ahem Ahem" went Kili trying to pretend to cough.

"Right, im moving! Honestly, I don't see what you find so funny! My beard it silky smooth!"

...

That night a gust of wind blew, and giggling could be heard.

Ori awoke and asked "Gandalf... why are you laughing?"

**Review? i'd like to know what you think**


	7. Heigh Ho

**Disclaimer:**

**M: Oh! Can i have Legolas?**

**T: No. He isn't in this story!**

**M: What?! ... fine.**

**I still own nothing!**

**It's short... :/**

journeying forward on their ponies for the... hmm, well, it might be the 6th day but it might be the 7th... Kili started whistling, and Fili started singing

"Heigh Hooooo! Heigh Hooooo! Heigh ho, heigh ho, its off to work we go!"

All the dwarves started whistling and started laughing, but Bilbo just could not get the joke.

"What's funny? I quite liked that song."

"I believe it's a, dwarf thing Bilbo..." said Gandalf.

"Oi! It is not a 'dwarf' thing! We... just happen to know the same tune!" argued Fili.

"It's a dwarf thing." stated Gandalf blankly.

**oh dear... I think I'm going to stop this one :L**


	8. What is a Hobbit?

**Hay look! I haven't stopped this one!**

**Disclaimer: Owning NOTHING STILL!**

**Authors Note: Alright! I know this isn't really to do with all the other one but I couldn't help it! This is what happens when I'm talking to Hel Lokison at night.**

**What's a Hobbit?:**

Sat in Stark Towers Thor, Loki, Tony and Clint were having a conversation about Lord of the Rings.

"What's a Hobbit?" asked Thor

"It's... Erm... You wouldn't understand." said Tony

"I understand!" protested Loki

"What is it then?" challenged Clint

"... Erm..."

"It's a Halflin, a small being with big feet and a huge appetite, usually 3"2 tall and live in The Shire West of Bree, usually seen gardening, drinking, eating or smoking..." stated Bruce

Every looked at him, some with wide eyes.

"When did you get here?!" asked Tony

"... the start." said Bruce

"..."

"You know a lot about Hobbits..." said Loki

"..." Bruce didn't reply

"How did you come by this information!?" asked Thor in a booming voice(as always)

"well I-I..." stammered Bruce

"yeeeeeeeeees." said everyone leaning in closer

"None of your Bucklebury!" said Bruce in panic mode

"... None of our what?!" asked Loki

"Nothing!" Bruce said while running out the room.


End file.
